Easter

Alleluia! Christ is Risen! He is risen indeed! Alleluia!






With beautiful eggs like these, who needs to dye any? (Fresh eggs courtesy of my friend's mother-in-law and her chickens.)


Another bit of nostalgia.



My mother (the little one) and two of her cousins near Zuni or Black Rock, New Mexico, Easter 1936


Happy Easter, Everyone. May you have a wonderful day.

Update 9:33 PM Saturday evening, April 3: About 15 minutes ago, there was an earthquake in Yellowstone National Park. I didn't feel it, but the animals did! The dogs went nuts; they were barking hysterically and running around the house and back and forth from door to door. (Yes, it scared the bejeepers out of me!) The cats have been pacing all afternoon. Hmmmm. (Blasted edit program! Font size is shown small here, but huge when posted!)

ca. 1915. Grandma is standing next to her mama. (Love how the house looks tilted. I saw this house last June. It is in really bad shape, but it is not tilted. lol) As usual, click on pictures to view larger size.

This Grandma (I can't figure out how to link to older posts):





The strangest thing happened yesterday. This was just a fleeting thing, but it was so very real.

I was working in the kitchen. Was I cleaning the stove top, wiping out the oven, or emptying the corn starch into a bug proof container? I don't remember, and I guess it doesn't matter. Yes, I do to remember. I was sifting the cornstarch into a container to make sure there weren't any bugs in it.

Just as normal/natural as could be, I realized my grandmother was off to the side and a little behind me. I told her that most young people now have never been so poor that they have had to sift the weevils out of the flour. They would just throw it away and buy new. (I can remember lots of times having to sift out the weevils. I can remember Grandma doing it, too, so it didn't gross me out.)

Then Pete dog walked through the kitchen. Not Grandma and Grandpa's Pete (Pete I with Patches ? as a puppy):




but Pete II:




Grandma spoke to him. But Pete ignored Grandma. I told Grandma that this wasn't her Pete; this was Pete II - the new Pete. I had the distinct impression that Grandma's feelings were hurt. Then she was gone.

I was working in the kitchen. Grandma's kitchen. I was not conscious of the date until just this instant. Grandma Margaret b. December 1908, d. February 10, 2008. Grandma, oh, how I miss you! God grant peace to your soul.



And, you may now honestly say that I am completely "losing it".

****

Random photos

Bed "hogs"




"Hahaha. I have your bed. nanner nanner nanner." (This is one of the dog's bed.)




Look what I found in the far back corner of the cupboard in the laundry room. Okay you young vintage lovers - eat your heart out. LOL For those of you who don't know what this is, be glad you haven't had to use this. My arm used to get sooo tired. Hint: I use a spray bottle only when needed now instead of this.




Roughly from 1953 or 1954




On top of the world (about 2006?). (I am down in the bottom of one of those canyons.)

1959?

Another "oldie" - sort of for Aunt Amelia :)




Three generations: My grandmother (horrible picture!) at the sink, my mom (she'd been chopping onions), and I (on the chair). The picture is stamp dated April 1959, but it could have been taken earlier. Since there is a baby bottle on the counter, it had to be after July 1957.

I don't remember *not* helping with the dishes. :)

Update to yesterday and Sunday dinner comment

Below the recipe updates is the comment to The Haven of Home post.

Yesterday I posted an untried recipe, and Aunt Amelia commented with a recipe. I made both. They were wonderful! THANK YOU :)

Here they are again with some editing/comments:
(See yesterday's post for source) Slap a hunk of beef in the slow cooker (I think I had a 3lb rump roast), sprinkle on some Italian dressing mix (the powder stuff)* and then add 12oz of beer. Cook on low for 10ish hours. We ate it with some of the jus and I'm gonna make burritos and something else with what's left over!! * The powder stuff - I used Good Seasons brand. Ingredients are in this order are: sugar, salt, sodium citrate, garlic, onion, spice, red bell peppers, carrots, monosodium glutamate, xanthan gum, green onion, guar gum, natural flavor, apocarotenal. Do we really need all that extra "stuff"? Next time I'll make my own.

Because I had a large chunk of beef it wouldn't fit (as it was cut) in the 2.5 quart Crockpot, so I used the 4 quart slow cooker. Well, after 10 hours, the roast was still hard as a rock. It had now shrunk in size, so I transferred it to the 2.5 quart Crockpot and turned it on high. It took another 1-1/2 hours, but it finally got done. It was so tender and tasty.

What I should have done: I should have used twice the amount of liquid (to cover most of the meat) and started the roast on high and then turned it to low to simmer, OR I should have cut the roast in half and put it in the Crockpot. The Slow cooker evidently doesn't get as hot as the Crockpot?

What I could have done: added onions, potatoes, carrots, celery.

****
Aunt Amelia's recipe for beer bread - with my editing:

It's a very quick bread with only 3 ingredients... 3 cups of self-rising flour (or 3 cups all purpose flour, 1 teaspoon salt, 1 tablespoon baking powder) , 3 teas. sugar and 1 can of beer. Stir just until mixed. Put in greased loaf pan in oven at 350 for 1 hour. :-) It is done when a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean. My bread was done at 50 minutes, so be sure to check (carefully - you don't want it to fall if it isn't done!).

****
Roxanne at The Haven of Home posted about Sunday dinners. It sure brought back memories.

Here is my comment:

Our Sunday dinner was usually between 2:30 and 4:00, depending on what time Grandpa had to go to work Sunday night. There was always company, or we ate someone else's house.

Sunday (dinner) prep actually started during the week.

Sunday dishes and "silverware" were used every week, so they were already clean. (Unless there was lots and lots of company, we only used the real silver and china on holidays so then it all had to be washed and polished.)

Table cloth or cloths would have already been "spotted", washed, and ironed.

Any yard work done. When I got to be about 11, I had to do this on top of cleaning the house, sewing, ironing, baking, etc. (I think that is why I'm so lazy now. I worked my butt - excuse me - off when I was young.)

Church clothes would have been prepared during the week, too, but there still seemed to be some minor disaster on Sunday morning. LOL

The older children helped fetch and carry, watch younger children, sweep front steps and sidewalk, hang up guests' coats, etc. Young children helped by picking up toys and fetching and carrying, too.

Saturday:
-Saturday morning clean house from top to bottom - except kitchen.
-Wash sheets and remake beds.
-Bathrooms - check toilet paper supply, check hand soap supply, clean whole room thoroughly, wash combs and brushes.
-Saturday, after housework was done, bake cookies, cakes, pie, breads, and make any other desserts (except pudding or cream pies - unless going to be eaten on Sunday) for the whole week.
-Saturday afternoon or evening make Jello salads or other for Sunday.
-Saturday morning or afternoon squeeze in the week's grocery shopping.
-Saturday afternoon or evening clean kitchen. Mop and wax floors. (After baking and the groceries were put away.)
-Saturday evening while preparing supper cut up the chicken (if necessary). (It was almost always fried chicken until I was 14!)
-Clean, polish and buff all shoes
-After baths Saturday night: scrub tub again, wipe up floor again, put out all clean towels.

(We did all this and still had some time to play. How did we do it???? Wellllll, we were limited to 1 hour of TV per day and this was only if parents allowed it.)

Sunday after church: have big breakfast and clean up, read paper (adults) (I usually had homework to do), then start dinner preparations.

Someone would coat the chicken - a child usually did this.

Put chicken in skillet.

Someone else would be peeling potatoes. Sometimes this was done ahead and the potatoes kept in ice water. These would be put on to boil.

Someone would peel carrots, cut celery sticks - sometimes this was done on Saturday.

Someone else would be setting the table. (This could be done ahead if there aren't pets in the house. We usually did it while the meal is cooking.) This included any condiments, butter, jellies, pickles (served in dishes not jars), salt and pepper. Napkins were folded and placed under the forks. Young children would help with this.

Put bread in to warm. OR, mix up biscuits and get them in to bake.

Put vegetable(s) on to cook. (These were cooked forever. I think it went back to the time when people had to worry about botulism.)

Make coffee.

Check potatoes. Drain if done. Mash if that is what you want.

Last minute: (This is where older children really come in handy. lol)

set out salads and/or relish tray
make gravy (when meat was done)
dish up
take food to table
pour drinks (never alcoholic)

Rules at our house (which my dad and brothers have completely forgotten):
No one started eating until everyone was seated
Everything was passed around the table (with exception of something very hot and/ or very heavy)
No clearing of the table until everyone was finished eating. We sat and visited while everyone finished snacking on olives, carrot sticks, that last dinner roll, etc.

Table was cleared except glasses/coffee cups (We never had enough to clear those and set out clean ones.) Children helped or older children did it all.

Depending on schedules dessert was served immediately or later.

No matter what, another pot of coffee was started. lol

If dessert was to be served immediately, we did that then cleaned the kitchen afterward.

If dessert was served later, the food was put away and dishes started.

It was a lot of work, and I was always exhausted on Sunday evening. If we ate again, it was something very light and simple. The dishes were always done, again. The kitchen and dining room floors were swept no matter what and mopped if necessary. Then I had to do homework. (I had tons of it!)

But, I remember those days as being filled with family and friends, lots of laughter, visiting, and over-hearing things we young people were probably not supposed to hear. :)

Lessons

The other day Bart posted an accounting tip that cured a headache.  This information was rattling around this scrambled brain, but I needed to have it spelled out to me.  Explanation:  We are having to value everything in Mom's estate.  Bart's advice answered a question.   Bless him.

In handling my mother's estate, here are some things I've learned:

*Have a will made.  BUT, make sure it is SO detailed that everyone knows who gets that sliver of soap left in the soap dish.  Oh, yes, it is extremely important for the will to be almost that detailed.  Putting a sticker on each item is great, but make sure it is also written down somewhere - preferably in the will.
*Any extra notes/wishes not in the will should be in your own handwriting.  DO not have someone else do this unless it is signed and witnessed by about 6 people.  (An exaggeration, but you get the idea.)

*Depending on which state (laws, taxes vary state to state) you live in and the size of the estate you might wish to make a Family Trust or something similar.  Sometimes this has be done a certain number of years before you pass away!

*Keep your financial records up to date even if your finances aren't.

*Keep a detailed "paper trail" so that someone can walk in and take over for you.  With the computer, so few people do this.  This can be a simple notebook kept in a kitchen drawer.  List the who, what, what, when, where, why and how.  This rule doesn't just apply to good journalism.

*It is extremely important to have someone who doesn't live with you know where life insurance records are kept, where the combinations to safes are hidden, in which bank(s) you have safety deposit boxes and where the keys are, where passwords are kept, what the names of your computer files are, in which banks you have accounts, etc etc etc.

*Have a family member be able to sign checks and/or transfer money from accounts in the event of an severe illness or death.

*Give others power of attorney, but make it so that others can't willy-nilly commit you.

*Having a living will.
*Have a minimum of $10,000 life insurance.  Preferably much more.  It will take the full $10,000 for a simple casket and funeral.  Cemetery plot, headstone and engraving are separate expenses.
*Have your cemetery plot picked out and paid for.  Do this through the cemetery people and have a written receipt.  And, check about once a year that this is still on record.

*Hire a trusted attorney.

*Hire a trusted accountant.

 

*Know that even with everything spelled out for you and the rest of the family, someone will probably be or get PO'd at you or another family member.

*Know that you will probably get very angry will some of your family members. 

*Know that someone else might try and probably will try very hard to run "the show" for you and/or pass themselves off as the only one that has the right to say or do anything.

*Know that there are going to be gaps in knowledge about how things should be handled.

*Know that if there is one person that has always "had an attitude" (to put it nicely) that attitude will rear its ugly head with a vengence in this time of stress.

*Know that if you think/know all these things couldn't happen in your family, they're probably going to anyway.

  

***

If one knows ahead that they are going to inherit an estate (large or small), try to be prepared as possible. Maybe you aren't going to inherit anything, but will have to handle the the final details of a friend or loved one.   Either way dealing/handling/taking care of all this is extremely expensive.

-First there is time off work.

-There is often travel/motel/eating out expenses.

-There are often long distance telephone bills.  (We maxed out our time on our cell phones.)

-There are often medical bills to pay.

-If there is a house/property involved, mortgage payments, electricity, telephone (no cell phone service at my mom's), utilities, insurance, possibly lawn care, etc. still have to be paid until the house is sold or rented.

-There may be repairs or improvements that will have to be made in order to rent or sell. 

-There is often a car that has to have at least one payment made before being legally able to sell it.  You may have to pay for another 6 months of insurance and maybe even renew the license plates/tags.

-In our case, the homeowners insurance and property taxes came due, too.  OUCH

-There are miscellaneous expenses too numerous and unexpected to list.

I don't know about other states, but in Idaho if the estate doesn't have the money to pay these expenses the inheritors have to pay them.  If the inheritors don't, these debts go against the inheritors credit ratings and/or the inheritors will lose the property due to foreclosures. 

If the deceased was on Social Security, the benefits should stop immediately.  If any SS money comes in after, don't spend it unless it is the final reimbursement.  (There will be a form that comes first - there is always paperwork.)

There are attorney and accountant fees, but their advice is invaluable.

In the state of Idaho, it can take 6 to 9 months for a will to be probated.  YES!  And guess who pays all the bills in the mean time - the inheritors.

This was long.  I'm sorry, but maybe some of this will help someone else someday.

Findings

I have been finding some very fun stuff. I've been scanning as I go so that I can share photos with other family members. So, I thought I'd share this one with you.

The gentleman on the left (in the funny hat) is my Great-Grandfather Clements. I don't know who the soldier is or where or when this picture was taken. A wild guess is that the picture was taken in the 1890's in Iowa, Nebraska, or Wyoming. If anyone can give a better date, I'd appreciate it.

Genealogy , Looking "Alike", and a Game

Sherry over at Please, Contain Your Excitement wrote a wonderful post about her relationship with one of her brothers. I cried - happy tears. Please go check it out. In her post, Sherry mentioned that some people didn't think she and her brother looked alike and others thought they did. I'll let you decide. :)

This comment about looking alike got me to thinking about one of the crazy "games" I have played since I was just a little girl. I like to look at people and pictures of people and look for family resemblances. It is such a habit that I just automatically do it now. A side benefit or curse is that I remember faces, but not always remember names or where I've seen the person.

Here is an explanation as to why I do this. There were several "falling outs" in my family - on my mom and dad's side. (All these happened before I was born. Thank God some have been mended.) These rifts caused the families to split and not speak to or acknowledge each other. (My family was notorious for this!) Both of my grandmothers told me about (at least some of) these splits (for several reasons), but they were especially worried about the newest one. What if I met and fell in love with a first cousin?* (At least they didn't have to worry about it being a sibling!)

So, starting with the wild imagination and "self-centeredness" of a little girl, I have spent my whole life looking at people and wondering if they are related to me. I'm still doing it, but in a little more grown up way. Now I look and wonder if we are related (slight difference in the thinking process - lol).

But since I started doing genealogy, it isn't all about me or just my family (tho it generally is). I like to look at other people's old photos and look for family resemblances to help them piece the puzzles together. Sometimes I can help, sometimes not. (I'm not psychic. lol) Then, there is the area where I live. The denizens were, until the last 30 years or so, predominately German Catholic. They tended to be very leery of newcomers. (We're newcomers.) Result? Lots of inter-marriages and lots of people who look alike (and unfortunately a high birth rate of people with handicaps).

What I have learned by doing this is that there is more to this than looking at just facial features. There are certain facial expressions, the hair, body build/type , types of walks, and stance. If you are lucky and get to talk to people, there is the sound of the voice itself, certain inflections, the phrases that certain families use. (This all helps, but it isn't proof that people are related.)

I have learned that there is no pattern to what people look like. Siblings can and do look and act completely different. Distant cousins can and often look almost identical. A son might not look anything like his father, but his son will look exactly like his grandfather. Sometimes, children are "spitting images" of one parent or a mixture of both. Some people look the same their whole life. Others change drastically. One child will be so completely different from the rest that it makes everyone wonder who that child "really belongs to". Really, I know/knew this, but I have to consciously remember it.

Now for the * !

When I was a senior in high school, I spent a weekend visiting my best grade school friend, and she introduced me two of her friends who just happened to be boys. (At the time, I didn't know their last names or realize that they were younger than us! ) We went out and around town as teens do. I specifically remember that night because it was really cold out and we put the top down on my friend's mom and dad's car and couldn't get it back up. Oops. For some reason, I had an immediate "aversion" to one of the boys. He was nice enough, but I just didn't really want to be partnered with him. No, I never saw them again after that night, either.

In about 2003 or 2004, I was doing some family research and found where one of my male cousins was going to attend his 30 year high school reunion. There was a graduation picture of him. HOLY CARP. I had partied with my first cousin (whom, of course, I didn't know was my cousin)! Thank goodness he was partnered with my girlfriend. Nothing really terrible happened, but still...

Obviously, I didn't see any family resemblance. So much for my game.

Mom

One of the best moms in the world left this earth September 29, 2009. May she be free from pain. May her soul be at peace. May she be with God as well as her loved ones who left before her.

Yes, this was rather unexpected. Mom didn't know if she'd live until next Easter or even Christmas, but up until about 2 days before she passed away she was still planning on going on our annual October fishing trip.

For those just now starting to read my blog, Mom was diagnosed just over five years ago with an unknown type of cancer. In July, the cancer was still "contained" to a small area. Six weeks later, it had spread and was out of control.

Random Bits and Pieces

These two are among the best children any parent could ask for. (Of course, I'm not biased or anything. lol) I love both of you very much. Please stay the lovely people that you are.

***

Now I have to vent. Feel free to skip these next two paragraphs.

Now, I'm going to say that I am sick to death of two of my friends' children. (I could post pictures of them, too, but I don't want to see their "ugly" faces right now.) They are rude, sullen, inconsiderate, selfish, completely self-centered, and sometimes down right mean. And, my friends have let them get away with being that way. They both have let those children (all grown, by the way) walk all over them.

It has gotten so bad, that I cannot stand to be around any of the children and some of their children. I'm tired of listening to my one friend complain about how awful her children act and how they treat her. I'm having a difficult time staying friends with these two women because I all I want to do is yell and scream at them to get backbones. I want to tell them that they are the mothers and grandmothers and have every right to demand - no matter how old the children and grandchildren are - that they be treated with kindness and respect. I have dropped many hints. They don't get it. Unfortunately, dropping friends isn't easy. And, it wouldn't be at all kind. This is a very small town, and we all belong to the same church.

***
Okay, on to happier things.

Yesterday. Out for a Chinese food lunch and then thrift store shopping. Some good bargains, a gorgeous day, and a great time. What else can I say? :)

Picked up several cups ($2.00 for all!) that match the dishes that are in the old trailer we use as a guest house. (The place actually belongs to my brother, but the whole family uses it.) Every time company comes, we have had to take cups from home or from mom's so people can have coffee, cocoa, or tea. No more. These can just stay there.

From McCall's Patterns copyright 1963:


Side 1

Side 2 -

This is one of oldest of the 41 patterns I purchased. Yes, forty-one. Thirty-nine of them were 10 cents a piece. They are different kinds and sizes, older and newer, children, teen, adult, and all kinds of crafts. I hope all the pieces are there, but for the price I really can't complain.

Two of the patterns were $2.00 a piece. One is a Debbie Mumm pattern for Christmas quilted wall hanging. The other is a Joan's Creation pattern for a Christmas room box using fabric for everything except the walls and floor. Even those are covered with appropriate fabric. Right up my alley. I love fabric and doll houses!




Also purchased a largish box of fabric scraps and remnants. $1.00. In it were several of these little guys and gals. There are three "finished" blocks and some more of the pieces cut out. These are a little dirty, so I hope I can get them clean. Everything in the box is jumbled, so I'll have to sort carefully. Also in the box are doll clothes - some cut out, some partially sewn. There are two little sun dresses cut out; these look to be about a child's size 2, or 3. (I know I already have at least one similar box of stuff that *I* haven't finished - oh dear.)

Copyright 1958. My cost: 25 cents





Doesn't the Mardi Gras recipe sound yummy? Uck! (Click to see a larger picture.) Maybe it would be okay if one substituted ham, roast beef, turkey, or salami for the tongue. (I like the taste of beef tongue just not the texture.)

One more:

Copyright 1972. My next to most expensive purchase, so I really debated on this one. I'm anxious to see if any of these (besides spaghetti sauce) really do freeze well. (As in tasting good after they're thawed and reheated, but I'm sure you all knew what I meant. grins)

Oh, and I purchased some very nice baby clothes for one of those ungrateful little twerps mentioned above. At least she said thank you even though she didn't look very excited.

***

I hope to be home until Sunday afternoon. Monday, I will take Mom to the oncologist, then will stay with her for at least another days (if not longer). I really would like to "settle" one place or the other. I really need my computer, paperwork, files, etc. so I can catch up on bookkeeping, and I would like to have my own sewing machine to use. Grandma's old one works great, but it doesn't zig-zag.

***

Last week Mom and I prepared and froze at least 20 quarts of tomatoes and canned 32 pints and 8 quarts of peaches. One quart didn't seal, so I didn't count that one. Mom froze at least a dozen bell peppers. I still have tomatoes and peppers coming on, so there will be more to do.

Home for a couple of days Updated

Thank you, all, for your lovely comments, thoughts, and prayers. Mom has been doing fairly well, but she starts Thursday with another "procedure". So, it is off to another round of doctor appointments and back to Mom's to stay for at least a few days.

Pictures taken with crappy cell phone camera. Sorry. As always, click on the picture for a larger view. :)



On Highway 101 (Highway 1) before getting to Santa Barbara. It was getting dark, but it was so beautiful.


The Channel Islands were so clear and close. Sorry they don't show up well here. You can just barely see the fog starting to roll in.




Stole this from Carmen. Thanks, Dear. What a difference in camera quality. Channel Islands from Highway 1 Santa Barbara County, California.

Actually, we (my husband, daughter, and I) "snuck off" to beautiful Santa Barbara, California, for my mother-in-law's 80th birthday party and a mini family reunion.

Of my in-law's ten children, only one son couldn't make it. (He is self-employed, this is his busiest season, and his substitute workers came to the party.) My husband is the oldest child, and our son is the oldest grandson and the third grandchild. (I'm pretty sure Carmen is the 6th grandchild.) In-laws have eighteen grandchildren ranging in ages 34 to 3.

Carmen & Molly. Molly is the 2nd to the youngest great-grandchild. Molly belongs to one of our nieces.

Six grandchildren and two of the seven great-grands weren't able to come.

Grandma and Grandpa with a little over half of their grandchildren. Pictured here: grands aged 32 to 3. By the time this was taken, a couple of the grown grandsons had left the party. (The oldest grandchild had just had a baby, so her family wasn't at the party - too far to travel with a itty-bitty one.) The two next to Grandma are twins. The 3-year-old was so tired. Too bad he has his face covered. He is just a doll. Okay, they are all cute :D

So disappointing that everyone wasn't there; all of us would have loved to have seen them. All of Mom S's siblings were there along with all (her family side) of her nieces and nephews and some of their children! It was a rushed trip (two long days of driving one way) and a little stressful, but it was great visiting with those who were there.

Our son D & his better half K. lol Really, both are super "kids".

Our son and his family met us there, and then we traveled north to their house for a day a couple of days.

Crossing the Golden Gate Bridge in the fog. It was a chilly 57 degrees.



The size of the supports on Golden Gate Bridge is amazing.





This is a view from D & K's driveway. Yes, that is a small, very old, private cemetery.


So good to spend a little time with our "kids"! Our (step) granddaughter will be a senior in high school! Where does the time go? I didn't get a decent picture of her with this camera. "Kirs" was being her normal silly self, and yes, her hair is purple.


"Kirs"

"Kirs" and her Aunt Carmen


Our grandson will be in the 8th grade. He is still on the little side. Although you can't tell it here, he's only about an inch shorter than his Aunt Carmen. (He's always hungry, so I expect he'll shoot up tall this school year.)


J with his Aunt Carmen
Rough housing in the house. Both old enough to know better. LOL

Long Overdue Thank You and Explanation

Thank you to everyone who has been praying and thinking of my mom and me. The prayers worked! Mom just sort of "snapped out of it". She was sick and then suddenly this past Wednesday evening was feeling good. So good, in fact, that we went on to Moscow on Thursday to go grocery shopping and have lunch with my daughter. Mom rested some on Friday and then she and my daughter left yesterday to go camping with my brother and SIL!

This business of my mom not feeling well is really hard to deal with. When I was growing up, she was "never sick" as in she refused to give in to anything. Only the occasional "sick" migraine would stop her.

Mom was and has been a small dynamo. (She was and is little. She's less than 5 feet tall and weighs about 90 pounds. She never weighed above 100 pounds until she was in her fifties.) She worked full time, kept a spotless house (with help from us kids), sewed, read, painted, crocheted, and cooked beautiful meals along with being a mom and wife. Now, she works part time, keeps her house picked up, takes care of her pets, and gardens. She says, "I can sit in my chair and feel bad and sorry for myself, or I can get some work done and keep my mind off of it."

*Only* this time she was so sick she couldn't work - or even walk to the bathroom by herself.

Mom didn't allow and still doesn't do "feel sorry for me". I think that is why I have never posted about this, but since I've been asking for prayers I thought I should explain why.

***

Five years ago this month, my mother was diagnosed with an unknown type of cancer. She had a huge malignant tumor in her lung, and by the time it was found, the cancer had spread to the surrounding lymph nodes. (My mother has never smoked. The doctors said that this is "not a type of cancer one gets from second-hand smoke or asbestos".) Mom had surgery and then chemo. But, the abnormal cells never went away.

The cancer has now spread to the other lung. (She did really well for about 3 years, but then started reacting to the chemo she'd been on. She has reacted to most types they've tried, but seems to handle this last type pretty well.) She also has been experiencing the side effects of prolonged chemo therapy - inability to smell or taste very many things, shortness of breath, decaying teeth and infection, fluid around the heart, extreme weight loss, and the inability to eat very much at a time. She has recently had fluid removed from around her heart and had oral surgery to try to save her teeth and face bones.

Add stress to the cancer.

My step-father had COPD which caused some bouts of crankiness, paranoia, and unreasonableness.

Three years ago, Mom tripped over the cat, fell, and broke her hip. She had to have a hip replacement, but she came through that really well. Within two weeks, she was up and walking to the office every day!

A year ago February, my mom's mother suddenly became ill and passed away while we were experiencing a series of major storms causing road closures and while Mom was in the middle of a major reaction to a treatment.

My step-father didn't handle Grandma's passing. (His illness caused that.)

A year ago June, my once wonderful step-father and my mom's husband of almost 40 years was diagnosed with lung cancer. Hello, COPD and they didn't find the cancer???

Last July, my mom and step-dad were in a wreck caused by a brake malfunction. They weren't hurt, but it wrecked their Suburban and totalled their travel trailer. (This just about did in my step-father. We were so glad it was a malfunction and not something caused by my step-father.)

My step-father went through chemo and radiation treatments, but passed away from pneumonia rather suddenly just after Thanksgiving. (The funeral was extremely stressful - again blizzards and road closures and add my step-dad's hostile daughter. )

Mom is still fighting to get the probate done. There have been my step-father's children to deal with and my (real) nephew's wife. Everyone thinks they are entitled to something.

There's more, but that is enough for here.

***
My brother has stepped in to take care of the mowing, watering, and trimming. He was already doing most of the "handy man" stuff around the house. (Here he is off camping and this morning an underground water line broke to one of the sprinklers. How dare he leave! JK and LOL)

I have been going with Mom to all of her appointments and staying with her when she doesn't feel good. (Mom lives 125 miles from the medical center. In the summer it takes two and a half hours to drive one way.)

My other brother lives on the other side of the country, but he comes "home" when he can. (He was here for 10 days in June and worked his skinny little hind end even skinnier.) He and his wife had been busy with her folks. Her father passed away in January, but her mom is still alive.

Random, but my generation is soon to be the old generation. Scary thought.

This was probably more than you wanted to know. Thank you again for your prayers.

And We Kept Our Mouths Shut

Last week I spent a few days helping to paint the inside of our friends "new" house. That was actually kind of fun. We got in a bit a visiting, a bit of fun arguing about paint color choices, and I got a dose of babysitting my friends' two adorable well behaved 4 year old grands.

(Oddly, I like to paint; I love seeing a dull, dirty wall turn out bright, clean, and cheerful. What I don't like is the prep or the clean up, but I like clean up a whole lot better than all that taping/masking! I can't paint with out taping; my hand just isn't steady enough not to make a mess.)

All last week, my friend's husband, C, told my friend, M, that they would be moving over Mother's Day weekend. Needless to say, my friend was not happy with her DH. Her 60th birthday was on Thursday, and this was also the eleventh anniversary of her last chemo treatment! She wanted to celebrate being alive and well, her birthday, and Mother's Day without any hassles or pressures. I kept telling her not to worry about it because there was no way "we" were going to help move over Mother's Day weekend. "But, C said."!!!

I had to be gone on Thursday, but remembered to call M to wish her a happy birthday. A few of us "girls" wound up going out to celebrate on Thursday evening, but I guess no family member "remembered" to call her. No one brought over a cake or a card. Oooh, was M upset with them!

Forward to Saturday - M was painting at the "new" house. One of her daughters showed up and told her mom that she needed to change into at least clean jeans because they needed to go NOW to look at a room for daughter's wedding reception (just in case rain ruined the already made plans). When they got to the hotel, M wouldn't go into the room because there were people in it. Daughter had to literally push M into the room. It took M a few seconds, but when she realized who the people were M burst into tears.

Not once did M tumble that her family had put together a surprise birthday party. One of M's brothers brought their mom from Montana; another daughter and grand came up from southern Idaho. Church members and friends showed up. M was ecstatic. She said she was so busy getting ready to move that it never occurred to her that anything was going on. She thought that because every one was so busy, too, that they had forgotten her birthday.

Mealtime Rules

For Paula (and anyone else who might be interested). I hope something here might work for you.

When I was growing up, these were the mealtime rules at our house:

Everyone sat down and ate together. There had to be a really good excuse not to be at the dinner table.

Grace was said before the meal.

No ugly comments, gags, rude noises, or complaining allowed. (I didn't allow my children to do that, either.)

If anyone made a face and/or comment and/or did anything my mom and dad considered to be rude (including bad table manners that weren't corrected after a warning), that person made the next meal by his or herself - and did ALL the cleanup. (If the rude thing was done at dinner then dinner was the next meal that the culprit got to cook.) The meal had to be balanced and be made from scratch (no hot dogs or TV dinners allowed). If a game or practice or TV show was missed, too bad - homework still had to be done.

If we acted up at the table, we were not sent away. Our food would be removed from in front of us, and we had to sit and watch every one else eat. (If we straightened up and sincerely apologized, Mom would let us have a bread and butter sandwich and/or fruit before going to bed. She did not believe in sending us to bed hungry.)

If something new was served to us, we had to at least try it.

We had to eat at least a bite even if we didn't like something. (No one had food allergies so that couldn't be used as an excuse.)

If it was the main course (such as a casserole) we didn't like and wouldn't eat, we could fill up on what left over after everyone else had their fill. We could not get up and fix anything else to eat. The only time Mom cooked something different for us was when she served liver. (Mom disliked liver, too. lol)

We were not allowed to put salt on our food until we tasted it first.

We children almost always set the table (cloth tablecloth, napkins, milk in a pitcher, utensils in the proper place, food served in bowls on the table). If Mom forgot to ask us to put a condiment (ketchup, anyone?) on when we were setting the table, we had to quietly get it on the table before we sat down to eat. We did not get up to get it. Depending on what was being served, we might get away with asking if it was something every one at the table would probably want (for example: butter for rolls or potatoes, ketchup for hot dogs). We knew not to ask for anything to put on a T-bone steak!

We always thanked mom (or who ever) for the meal. We also learned to tell the cook that the meal was good or that we enjoyed a particular dish.

Everyone helped clear the table. Mom and I usually put the food away. We took turns doing the dishes. Someone swept the floor and wiped up spills. Someone else wiped counters and the stove. Many hands truly made light work - even if at the time we didn't think so and even if we did sort of trip over each other.

Almost every night one person would read out loud to the others who were cleaning the kitchen. (I realize now that there was more to this than just hearing what was being read. The parents could see how well we were learning to read, sound out words, grasp meaning from context, etc. This usually involved using dictionaries and encyclopedias. And, it kept us from getting into arguments about who was going to do which chore!)

This routine worked well. It only took once or twice to realize complaining wasn't worth the consequences. Eventually, we (the children) automatically started dinner when we got home from school.

Story to go with last post's pictures

You know how you are around someone everyday, and how you don't see the changes in a person until something happens? Luckily, this time it was just a couple of car trips and not something drastic.

I admit it. I'm was being petty and childish. I was irritated to the point of wanting to bang my head and hers against a brick wall. Now I feel bad that I was so annoyed.

I will explain that this person has always talked a lot and not always listened to the answers to the questions she asked. Lately, she has become a little hard of hearing, but this was different...

It all started like this:

For weeks our elderly neighbor, K, had been telling H (another friend) and me that she wanted to go shopping - just to go wander around the stores. There wasn't anything urgent that she needed, so just sometime would do. We told her that one or both of us would take her IF her son couldn't and IF we could take her car. (She has a nice Honda.) Well, we were busy. The weather had been crappy (sorry, but it had), and the roads had not been in the best driving condition. And, our shopping center is 80 miles away - one way.

Suddenly, about 3 weeks ago, this shopping trip became of utmost importance. K needed to go now!

Please realize that friend H works 5 to 6 days a week plus shares her car with her high-schooler who has a job after school and on weekends. H's other "car" is a big pickup which her husband needs for his jobs. I drive a big pickup, and my husband's jobs take him places that our big truck can't get into. K has difficultly getting around so taking any pickup was out of the question. K told both H and me that her son couldn't take her. That made sense. All "our" men are self-employed, and they all work 6 to 7 days a week. So, I could take her if I had a car to drive.

When we asked about taking her car, she said she'd drive it. She didn't want anyone else to drive her car. (No way was I going to ride with her. That's a whole "nother" story.)

So on Sunday almost 3 weeks ago, H told our elderly friend that she'd made arrangements to take a day off, and they'd go shopping on Thursday (2 weeks ago today). Between Tuesday's reminding phone call and Thursday, K made all kinds of other plans for Thursday - totally blew H off. (I didn't know this until several days later.)

The next day (Friday) K told me that no one would take her shopping, and she really needed some things. My husband needed some parts (he could have ordered them), but the clincher was that our daughter was going to be in "town". He hadn't seen her for a few weeks, so we told K we'd take her with us. She could go to any store she wanted, but that we were meeting our daughter for lunch. Suddenly, that was too much running around, and K didn't want to go. (Weird since K has always treated our daughter like her own grandchild.) We had to talk like a son of a gun to get K to agree to go with us.

Saturday morning we go to get K. Her son was just coming up the walk, and we got to talking. He didn't even know his mother was going anywhere. And, his mother had never mentioned to him that she wanted to go shopping. He said could have taken her that very day if she had asked.

***
We chat all the way to town, and everything is pretty okay until we turn to go to Costco. We go in the "back way" which is a 55 mile an hour road (vs. 25-35 mph through town). It misses all the stop lights, cuts off some mileage, and on a busy day can save 15 to 20 minutes. K just had a fit. Where are we going? Why are we going this way? I've never been this way before. Where are we? I would have been there by now. Husband did get in a word to say we would miss all the stop lights this way. I never have to stop for the lights. (Now, that is just plain scary.) And on and on it went. She wouldn't listen to anything anyone said.

We got to Costco. Oh, no. We can't park in the handicap parking spaces. We should have brought the permit. No, the permit goes with your car. That doesn't matter. No one will check. Park in the handicap place. My husband drove around a little and was able to park in a space right next to a handicap spot. This isn't a handicap spot. I can't walk that far. We got her a cart and got her into the store and K said, "I'll meet you up front when I'm done" and took off like a teenager in a clothing store. Husband and I went different directions, too. We both saw some friends and stopped to visit with them. We both used the restroom, caught up with each other and did all of our shopping and checked out. No K. I finally went back into the store part of the building. She had been wandering all over looking for us. No, she hadn't been up front. Why did I need to do that? I got her up to the check out stand. She handed her card to the cashier. The card had expired. Why had it expired? K stood there and argued. Oh, I told my daughter-in-law I didn't need it anymore. I guess she took my word for it and didn't renew it. No, I don't need a day pass; I have a card. She still stood and argued. She wouldn't let me pay. People were lining up behind us. I finally just turned my back on her, handed the cashier my card, and wrote the check. (Thank goodness I had enough money in my checking account!) Then she had a fit about bill total. I basically just pushed her out of the store.

K needed to go to the shoe store. This is a real shoe store where they still measure your feet, but this is a very little store that caters mostly to ranchers, loggers, and serious athletes. K started in on the store owner (thank goodness it was the owner and not hired help) about the lack of selection. The man carefully measured K's swollen feet and brought out several pairs of shoes that K had picked out. In every color but beige. I want beige; can't you see that I'm wearing khaki colored slacks? He takes the shoes back and brings out beige shoes. But! She doesn't like any of the styles. Finally, she finds a pair of tannish colored shoes that she thinks will work. Yes, they're comfortable. I *watched* as the store owner checked the heel for slippage, the toes to make sure they weren't not too short, not too tight across the top, etc. etc. She seemed to be pleased with her choice.

We actually have a nice lunch. Dad and daughter didn't get to visit much because K talked the whole time. At least we saw daughter, and we were able to give her some groceries, her mail, and (finally) her dancing shoes.

Staples next. Husband goes in to buy what he needs. K needs White Out - the ribbon kind. She described the packaging, but wouldn't get out of the car to go look herself. Of course, Staples doesn't have any in the exact packaging so it can't possibly be the same type I use. She literally threw the package at me. (I now have 2 packages of White Out ribbon tape that I may never use.)

Then K suddenly decided that my husband had a job to do in "town". No matter how much we explained she couldn't understand that the parts were for a job at home. This went on - while we gassed up, while we were in Safeway, until we stopped at Baskin-Robbins - which she said she wanted to do.

Why did we stop here? I don't want any ice cream. You don't need to be eating any of that (to me who was just drinking water because by this time I had a horrible headache and was sick by to my stomach). It's fattening. You're too fat; you need to be watching what you eat. Quit eating so much ice cream and candy. You never use that treadmill you bought...

One more stop so we could use the restrooms. (This Baskin and Robbins doesn't have any for public use.) No. I don't need to use the toilet. I don't know why you always have to use the restroom. I'm fine. I can wait until we get home. On and on and on. (We were gone from home for more than 7 hours, and she never once used the restroom.)

Finally, she thanked my husband for taking time out to go to town. She admitted that she couldn't have done it by herself. It was almost pleasant on the way home. Then we unloaded her groceries. That's when she discovered that she had purchased the "wrong" bathroom cleaner. I told her I had at home a new bottle of the brand she likes. I'd trade. No, I'll do without.

That was just the first trip and doesn't even begin to explain why I posted the pictures.

Good Friday, early morning, K calls and says she's going to town. The shoes are a size 9W. I always wear a 9 1/2 M. They're too short. (Remember, I watched as he fitted those shoes on her. They were not too short or too wide or ___.) I have to take them back. I called. They don't have any others that will fit. Do I want to go with her? No, I really have work to do, but I'd be glad to return the shoes for her when I go with Mom the next time. No, I'm going today by myself. Well, of course, my conscience kicked in big time. I called her back and told her I would go IF I could drive. She agreed, but oooo did I pay for it.

We started out of town. Suddenly she had to go to the bathroom. We turned around. I remembered to ask if she had told her son that she was going to be gone for the day? No, it isn't any of his business. Besides, I called. Neither he nor S (his wife) answered so I hung up. If he can't answer his phone, he doesn't need to know where I am. They have an answering machine, so she either didn't let it ring long enough or decided she didn't want to leave a message. So while she was in the bathroom (clear at the back of her house in her bedroom), I called her son to tell him where we were going. Would you believe it? She heard me!

We started out again. We got to about where the second picture is taken, and she asks, Why aren't there any trees on the Prairie? I just don't understand why there aren't any trees. Where I grew up has lots of trees. I grew up with trees. Did the farmers cut them down? What are those towers? (cell phone) I don't know why everyone has to have cell phones. Why do the trees only grow in the draws? Why is this a Prairie? This went on clear past where the first picture was taken. Pictures 3 and 4 show where basically natural prairie meets where there the snow sticks long enough for there to be moisture for trees to grow.

Then we get to about pictures 5 and 6. Look at this wasted land. It isn't good for anything. Why isn't is good for anything? Can't grow vegetables. Why don't they grow vegetables on the Prairie? This land isn't good for anything. There's only rock here. No topsoil. Wasted. The growing season on the Prairie isn't long enough for vegetables and there isn't enough water. The farmers grow grain, peas, lentils, hay and rape. Well, what good is that? It's not vegetables. The grain is used for flour and cereals. We eat the peas and lentils. Hay feeds the cows, and you eat beef. This is rock and pine trees. Wasted land. Where I lived we grew vegetables. Hmmmph, it's not vegetables.

Shoe store: Owner isn't in. There is a young very pregnant lady "on duty". She brings over some shoes, but they aren't the right kind. She goes in the back and rummages around. She comes out with a pair a beige shoes in a 9 1/2 M. K goes balistic. That man said he didn't have any more shoes in my size (which was a true statement). Doesn't he know what he has? He didn't tell me the truth. Many more statements. K tried on the shoes and decided that because they were marked the size she has worn for the last few years that the shoes fit. The clerk kept showing K how they were too tight across the arch and how they slipped on the heel. But, K had to have those, because they are my size. That girl had a smile on her face, but here were tears in her eyes when we left. I apologized.

Staples for that elusive White Out. K headed for where it used to be. I told her that it was now in a different spot. WRONG. When she finally listened and found the White Out, they didn't have the exact same package as the one she uses.

Lunch: Took K to a restaurant she'd never been to. Thought it would be a treat. This isn't the restaurant I thought you were talking about. Why are we going here? This [dish] isn't what I thought it would be. Doesn't taste anything like I thought it would. Don't leave a tip. This isn't very good. Well, I'm sorry, but I was buying the lunch. If it was bad, why did she eat it all? My lunch was really good. I left a tip. And heard about it. There is a really nice restroom here, do you want to use it before we head home? No, I can wait. I just don't understand why you always need to use the restroom.

Leaving the parking lot: Too much traffic to make a left hand turn across three lanes, so I turned right. Wrong. Where are you going? This is my car. You're supposed to turn left. You can turn on any of the streets. Why aren't you turning? When I tried to explain where I was going it just got worse. I was headed to the by-pass by the levee. Tooks us less than a mile out of our way. The fruit trees, daffodils, and forsythia were in bloom. There were ducks and geese in the ponds, and people out walking on the levee. The sun was shining. It was glorious. She didn't even see it.

Things calmed down and were rather pleasant until we were almost to picture 1 again. (Remember this was Good Friday and there was lots of traffic.) A passing car was coming at us and getting way into my comfort zone. I put on the brakes - firmly, but not hard. Why did you do that? We had lots of room. You didn't needn't to slow down. I don't know why you just wouldn't let me drive. I wouldn't have slowed down.

Just wasted land. No trees. No vegetables.

Home to my house. Now I have to re-adjust all the mirrors and the seat. You should have just let me drive. Why did you bring your coat? It was nice out. I never carry a big purse. You should just carry your wallet. By this time I wasn't nice any longer. I sure my, "See you at church later" was less than civil. I was awful. I'm not sure I even spoke to her at church.

Yesterday, I was telling my mom about our two trips to town (mom had been gone so we hadn't visited for a while). Mom said one word, "Dementia".

Then today, I remembered. When Grandma used to get like that it meant she had a urinary track, bladder, or kidney infection. K wouldn't use the restroom those two days. I wonder... I will be making a phone call to one of her sons tomorrow.

Odds and Ends (Again)

Thank you to all who have commented here and by email. What great and fun tools blogs and email are!

(Oh, I had a troll make an ugly comment about my brother-in-law, so I implemented the comment moderator. Sorry for the inconvenience.)

For some of the clothes stores various people mentioned, we will have to take a trip to Boise, Spokane, Seattle, Atlanta, Las Vegas, or ???. (At least one store doesn't sell on-line.) Wanting or needing to shop is a good excuse to go on a trip, right?

It is snowing Great Big Flakes and sticking.

The snowdrops are in bloom. In the 20 or 21 springs that I have lived in this town, May is the earliest I've ever seen them bloom (before now). (I've lived here three different times, so I get confused about the number of seasons, but not about when flowers bloom.) It's too early to remove the mulch - hence the debris around the flowers.

I love spring flowers. They look so delicate but are so hardy.

The lilacs usually bloom in mid-to-late May and almost always get snowed on.

Along Lapwai Creek, the stems of willows and dogwood? are changing colors. The trees look like they are getting read to bud. The elevation is much lower near Lapwai so their spring comes much earlier.

I almost hope it freezes (here) again so that there isn't any mud for a while. I hate mud. The dirt here is black, not dark brown, but black clay. It is slick and gooey when wet and hard as a brick when dry. It is almost impossible to wash out - very similar to Georgia's red clay - except much more fertile.

My dad just emailed me several old family photos that I had never seen before. Also, there were pictures of headstones and lists of family members with birth and death dates, birth and death places, and women's married names! I'm officially in hog heaven!

Dad also sent pictures of some family members (that are my age) that I haven't seen or seen pictures of since we were in our late teens/early twenties. Their daughter just got married and is younger than my oldest child, but why do THEY look so OLD? HAHA

Small world:

*Note to a Certain Young Woman in Texas: I just found out that one of my "old" college roommates lives in Austin. I lost touch with her years ago, but (re)met her mother at a church meeting the other night. She (the mother) and her husband moved here a couple of years ago.

*Aunt of Certain Young Woman used to live in a town close to here and drove over here to go to church. Wonder if our paths ever crossed? Probably. This is a small town.

My friend has two grandsons who are completely out of control. My friend is so upset. I hope things get better soon.

Note to young people - (most) parents never stop worrying/caring about their children, and the grandchildren and even greatgrands. Note to my children: You will always be my children no matter how old you get - so you'd better behave! lol

This is what my kitten did. She would streak through the house and hit the top of my desk sending everything flying. I had already picked up quite a bit before I thought to take a picture.

Kitten when we first got her. I set the cup there so we could remember how tiny she was. I took a picture tonight, but it didn't turn out. Can't get her to be still long enough!

Since it's time to put the dogs out (10:45 pm) one last time, I'll quit jabbering.

BARGAINS! And other news.

A couple of weeks ago, Mom, Daughter, and I attended the Lewiston Civic Theatre to watch the play Cat on a Hot Tin Roof by Tennessee Williams. The storyline is incredibly depressing, but the actors gave a top notch performance. (The local talent always amazes me - including my own child when she performs.)

After the play, we drove to Moscow, had an excellent dinner at a really nice Mexican restaurant, and then went to Daughter's to stay the night. We stayed up really late visiting. The next morning Daughter headed to classes, and Mom and I headed back to Lewiston where Mom had doctors appointments. Mom was so tired when we got to my house that evening that she stayed all night and didn't leave until late the next afternoon.

Valentines night found us at our friends house. I actually went over to help pack, but M was tired of packing so we ate junk food and talked until midnight. (Their precious year-old great-granddaughter popped in for a surprise visit. What a beautiful good natured child!) I came home with two coffee (hot chocolate?) serving pots with matching creamer and sugar bowls that M had set out to put in the rummage.

Yesterday, my husband had a several hour job to do in Lewiston. Of course, I rode along. Daughter drove down from Moscow, and Daughter and I spent the afternoon shopping. Daughter found a pair of jeans that fit perfectly (a very rare find). At Gottchalks, I bought Husband a nice bathrobe, two cotton sport shirts, and myself a pair of Dearfoams slippers - all for under $38.00 (including sales tax)! Other purchases included a new toaster (our old one was probably 25 years old! and decided to quit last week), a Michael Buble CD, Fiddler on the Roof DVD (for $5.00!), and another DVD for Daughter for $5.00, and a pair of pj bottoms for $2.99 for Husband. Then we bought groceries. No bargains there. Packages are about half the size they were last year and cost more - even at Costco.

Daughter and I drove up to Moscow. We yakked away some more while I did her dishes and she quickly straightened up her apartment and sort of worked on homework. Husband finally showed up about 8. We had another excellent dinner at the same Mexican restaurant. Went back to Daughter's. Daughter's friend of the of the opposite sex came over to meet us. Very nice young man. We got up this morning, fixed a nice breakfast, and headed home. Mom had driven up for church so she stopped by for a couple of hours before she headed home.

I think there were other little odd bits of news to share, but I can't remember what. Oh, well. Good night and God Bless.