Friday, October 24, 2008


I'm becoming alarmed about what might be a "new" trend of thinking. Maybe it has been around for a while, and I'm just learning about it. Maybe I just stumbled upon a small pocket (can't think of the word I want to use) who believes "this".

"This" is pushing feminity or being feminine. "This" doesn't sound so bad or frightening on the surface. After all, I am a grown woman who has been married for over thirty years. I have children and grandchildren. I believe in families. I know how to love, nuture, laugh, and cry. I know how to cook, bake bread, preserve, garden, sew, and clean. I can read the Bible, read poetry, do embroidery, play the piano, and even sing (plug your ears!). (Unfortunately, I never learned to dance.) Some would consider me kind and caring. I try to be respectful to others. I think I know how to pray. I know how to behave in our church. (I even know how to make candles, milk a cow, gather and candle eggs, pluck a fowl, and could probably spin wool, weave fabric, and make baskets if I had to.) These are considered feminine traits.

However! What I have been reading suggests that a wife should always be subservient to her husband. These groups or people are spewing that women should not involve themselves in politics. The husband should be the one to tell his wife how to think. The husband should fight all his wife's battles. The wife should never say an unkind word or raise her voice or argue. The husband should take care of all the finances. And, the women should always wear feminine, flattering dresses and do only "feminine" things. Old writings? NO! Only from one religious group? NO, several.

Still doesn't sound so bad? What would happen if your husband passed away? Would you know how to take care of yourself? If not, who would take care of you? Do you want to give up the right to think for yourself? Do you want to give up the right to vote? Do you want to give up the right to be a doctor, lawyer, or business woman? Do you want to stand there and let your husband and/or others "trample" you? Do you want to give up the right to wear jeans :)???

One place I read went on to say that the 1970's feminism movement was the cause of man's irresponsibily toward society and the reason that men now treat women so poorly. Maybe, some, but it even went on to say that men of the older generations were responsible bread-winners and were kind, considerate, and gentle to their wives and families. It didn't say generally, either.

HUH? What about all the men who deserted their families - way before 1970's feminism? What about the men who raped women and got away with it - way before 1970's feminism? What about husbands that beat their wives and/or children - way before 1970's feminism? What about the men who considered it their right to have multiple affairs - way before 1970's feminism? What about the men who never did a day's work - way before feminism. There might have been some surface social curtesies. By digging into your own family history, reading history, or listening to older people talk about their lives shows that men were really no better before the 1970's.

For the most part, women have always been strong. They have kept "civilization" going while raising their children, whether by working to keep a household together, by working on their farm, by working in a factory, or by scrubbing toilets. They have fought for their family's safety. They have always done what needed to be done.

Feminism may have gone overboard, but:
I excerise my right to vote for whom I please. This is relatively new right for women in the U.S. Please take advantage of this!
I reserve the right to wear jeans.
I reserve the right argue with my husband if I think he is wrong.
I reserve the right to yell and/or swear and/or even drink alcohol if I wish.
I reserved the right to say how many children I wanted. (There are your husband's wishes to consider and also religious issues, but I personally don't believe in knowingly (key word "knowingly") endangering your life and/or the child's life to have a child. To me, this is the same as playing Russian roulette or trying to commit suicide or infantcide. (Hey, I wanted to be alive to take care of my children myself.) There are those that say birth control is evil or a form of murder. Who are we to say that God didn't intend to have birth control discovered? (This should be thoroughly discussed with your husband-to-be.)
I pay the bills (but try to keep my husband informed).
I reserve the right to read whatever I want to read.
I reserve the right to go back to college and study whatever I want.
I reserve the right to work outside the home if I wish.
I reserve the right to not clean, cook, pamper, or pander to my husband's every wish.
If I am doing the same job as a man, I expect equal pay.
If my husband should beat me, I would expect him to be arrested and jailed.
I reserve the right of being a wife to ask my husband for help if I need it.
I expect help from my husband even when I don't ask.
I reserve the right to get a divorce if life with my husband should become unbearable.
I like the fact that if I wanted, I could buy and own land without a co-signer or without my husband's approval.
I like the fact that I can go buy my own car without my husband's approval.
I like that I can actually own something. Period. Used to be that if the husband died, the only thing the woman owned was what he willed her or her silver - if she was lucky enough to have any.
And, just so you know, I absolutely love and respect my husband even if he does drive me a little nuts sometimes!

I don't know about the rest of you, but I am certainly glad women are no longer mere chattels.

1 comment:

The Songster said...

I think you forgot the fact that you like to have a say in how your children are raised and have the right to take care of them if something should happen to your husband or should get a divorce. Thank women like Elizabeth Cady Stanton and Susan B. Anthony for going before New York legisture and fighting for these rights!

I agree with you though. Plus, haven't people ever noticed that there are certain animals where females are in charge of packs? And if as religions will tell us, we are "higher" than animals, shouldn't that mean that women should higher rights too?